Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I almost started crying at the mall today

I went to the mall in search of shoes…
I’m in desperate need of “cold weather shoes”, but have no idea what style of shoe I want to buy.
Do I want sneakers? Boots?
Different outfits call for different shoes, but I don’t want to buy multiple pairs of shoes.
Its a conundrum.

Anyway,  I didn’t “almost cry” during my shoe quest.
I almost cried while watching my baby boy play in the play area.

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Riker has mastered the slide.
He has figured out how to climb up the stairs, sit on his bottom, and push himself down the slide.
He can do this over and over again…without my help.

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I almost cried because I realized that my baby boy is no longer a baby.
He’s a big boy now.

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I’m not sure when exactly this happened.
Yes, I knew he was getting physically bigger.
But this newfound independence just kind of snuck up on me.

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Watching him play at the mall today also reminded me that soon it won’t be just me and him.
for the past 22 months, Riker has been able to have my undivided attention.
He wants to play, I play with him.
He wants to be held, I hold him.

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But in just 5 short weeks, I’m having another baby.
Which means my full attention will no longer belong to Riker.
He will have to share his mom with baby sister.
I have no idea how Riker will react to this…
and right now, he has absolutely no idea how much his world is going to change.

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I left the mall without buying any shoes…
I took Riker home, made lunch (pb&j…fancy, I know), and spent the rest of the day enjoying my little buddy.
We colored pictures, we sang songs, we built lego towers, we played football.
I have 5 weeks left with just Riker…
and I’m determined to enjoy these weeks as much as possible.


In totally related news:
I’m 34 weeks pregnant.


Summer said...

cool iphone pictures......

Brenden+Nikki said...

Oh how I remember feeling like this! And if you think he looks big now, wait until he comes to visit you in the hospital to see you and meet sister. Collin looked gigantic to me. Even his eyeballs and eyelashes looked bigger to me.

linzi said...

Moments of realization such as this are so wonderful and yet heartbreakingly difficult, too. Way to forget the shoes and love what matters most. I need to do that more often.

p.s. you look great!!! I love your glasses, too :)

The Jolley Family said...

I struggled with this too! After Evelyn was born, I cried because I felt like I couldn't spend nearly as much time with Bella. And sad to say, I was actually very upset with Evelyn for taking that time away from Bella. However, you eventually learn that everything will be ok and you enjoy your time with both!

Taryn said...

Just wait, he will seem so much older and like such a big kid after the baby is here! And so far our transition has been great. Stella loves her sister, so I hope it goes as smooth for you guys. You look great! Hope she comes sooner than later for you :)

The Martindales said...

I can tell you've watched Once Upon a Time . . . great isn't it?